Over 700 guests came to wish the Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negri Sembilan Tuanku Jaa’far Tuanku Abdul Rahman, a happy 86th birthday on Saturday. The blacktie dinner was held in the glittering Banquet Hall at Istana Besar Seri Menanti, which can accommodate over a thousand guests.
Members of the House of Negri Sembilan were in their glittering best and VIPs wore their sashes, medals or full uniform.
Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah of Selangor who wore his DK and other Selangor medals crafted entirely of diamonds made by Spink of London.
Tengku Dara and Tengku Imran wore their Tan Sri medals and other dignitaries included Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar, top cop Tan Sri Musa Hassan and the Negri Sembilan Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Utama Mohamad Hassan.
Guests dined on smoked prawn, wagyu beef and tiramisu under massive chandeliers as music was played by a 16-piece orchestra from the Malay Regiment with famous songbird Misha Omar crooning away.
A 3m tall cake was pushed with great difficulty onto the stage.
Tunku Laksamana Tunku Naquiyuddin and consort Tunku Nurul Hayati invited the Yam Tuan to cut the cake.
After blowing the cake, Tuanku Jaa’far did a little jig to much applause and cheering. Tuanku Jaa’far later danced with Tunku Ampuan Negeri Sembilan.
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Members of the House of Negri Sembilan were in their glittering best and VIPs wore their sashes, medals or full uniform.
Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah of Selangor who wore his DK and other Selangor medals crafted entirely of diamonds made by Spink of London.
Tengku Dara and Tengku Imran wore their Tan Sri medals and other dignitaries included Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar, top cop Tan Sri Musa Hassan and the Negri Sembilan Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Utama Mohamad Hassan.
Guests dined on smoked prawn, wagyu beef and tiramisu under massive chandeliers as music was played by a 16-piece orchestra from the Malay Regiment with famous songbird Misha Omar crooning away.
A 3m tall cake was pushed with great difficulty onto the stage.
Tunku Laksamana Tunku Naquiyuddin and consort Tunku Nurul Hayati invited the Yam Tuan to cut the cake.
After blowing the cake, Tuanku Jaa’far did a little jig to much applause and cheering. Tuanku Jaa’far later danced with Tunku Ampuan Negeri Sembilan.
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Hmm...entirely of diamonds. Smoked prawns, wagyu beef and tiramisu. The only Diamond I had encountered was the water system at me sister's. And Giant brand smoked sausages (RM2.37), Indian buffalo meat (used to be RM6.50 per pack but now it's RM10) and Nestle ice-cream(RM7 for a 2 litre tub) for me. That too on a good day. Tempeh fill the rest. Prawns? Well, prawn paste maybe.
I'll always blame me great great great great great great grandmother for failing to find herself a Bugis warrior as a husband. She took a Javanese farmer instead. And then the Dutch came. If she waited another fifty seven days, she could even try her luck with one of them flying Dutchmen. And I could be one of them pan-Asian heartthrobs doing the sinetrons in Bandung or accompanying Inul doing her 'ngebor' in Jakarta or a reputable marijuana pusher with blond dreadlocks in Amsterdam. Either way I'll still be eating the tempeh. Fifty seven bleeding days!
If she had married a Bugis warrior then, I could be doing the Kembara. If you catch me drift. I could have them glittering birthdays. Or even a diamond studded condoms from Antwerp. But unfortunately, in Borobodur country, there are no Bugis to be found. If they were, there'll be war. And so she dutifully married a Javanese farmer. And tended to her husband and rice terraces and tempeh. And I had been stopped three times by the Malaysian police during those dark days of me life because I looked different. And me accent always managed to give me 'tempeh'ness away. Even when I speak English! Damn! So I shaved me dreads long before Mawi reached puberty and talked only when the only option was sign language. And the only sign language I know is the one universally unacceptable.
But I know deep in her heart my great great great great great great grandmother's only wish was to be a filial daughter, a good wife, and mother to filial children. And that life won't be too hard on her. For that I won't mind all the tempeh and all me 'tempeh'ness. For that I won't mind being stopped by the Malaysian police everyday even though we were here since 1876. And also for that I would give away all that glitters because that stairway to heaven can't be bought. I love you Grams.
And all those of you who are fortunate enough to have glittering condoms and dildos because of fortunate ancestries, what can I say. God works in strange ways. And in Him we trust.
I'll always blame me great great great great great great grandmother for failing to find herself a Bugis warrior as a husband. She took a Javanese farmer instead. And then the Dutch came. If she waited another fifty seven days, she could even try her luck with one of them flying Dutchmen. And I could be one of them pan-Asian heartthrobs doing the sinetrons in Bandung or accompanying Inul doing her 'ngebor' in Jakarta or a reputable marijuana pusher with blond dreadlocks in Amsterdam. Either way I'll still be eating the tempeh. Fifty seven bleeding days!
If she had married a Bugis warrior then, I could be doing the Kembara. If you catch me drift. I could have them glittering birthdays. Or even a diamond studded condoms from Antwerp. But unfortunately, in Borobodur country, there are no Bugis to be found. If they were, there'll be war. And so she dutifully married a Javanese farmer. And tended to her husband and rice terraces and tempeh. And I had been stopped three times by the Malaysian police during those dark days of me life because I looked different. And me accent always managed to give me 'tempeh'ness away. Even when I speak English! Damn! So I shaved me dreads long before Mawi reached puberty and talked only when the only option was sign language. And the only sign language I know is the one universally unacceptable.
But I know deep in her heart my great great great great great great grandmother's only wish was to be a filial daughter, a good wife, and mother to filial children. And that life won't be too hard on her. For that I won't mind all the tempeh and all me 'tempeh'ness. For that I won't mind being stopped by the Malaysian police everyday even though we were here since 1876. And also for that I would give away all that glitters because that stairway to heaven can't be bought. I love you Grams.
And all those of you who are fortunate enough to have glittering condoms and dildos because of fortunate ancestries, what can I say. God works in strange ways. And in Him we trust.
2 comments:
diamond encrusted condoms and dildo?
ouch...
aw...he loves his Grams...
The pinnacle of waste. Not unlike the Lamborghini LP640 that was flown from Qatar to London and back, just for an oil change. When you give money to morons, they'll think of moronic ways to spend.
And yes, I love me tempehs too...hehehe
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