joker...eh?

Went to the Minggu Saham Amanah Malaysia 2009 earlier today. Strolled from the ENTER to the EXIT. From aisle to aisle. From stall to stall. Nothing excited me much. Jaded products being repackaged and rebranded. Some enthusiastic salespersons but many more whom looked like they were threatened at gun point to be there or else. The face is a media.

Just murdering some more boring minutes before me thang at 3pm when I noticed the Telekom Malaysia stall. And me feet began heading there before receiving them instructions from me brain. Ahhh...lovely salespersons. Before they started shoving them packages to me face that is.

You want to update to a broadband package sir?

I got me a Streamyx package thank you. A 512mb.

Would you like to upgrade it to the 1g. Just RM110.

Me speed is cool, thank you. I only do emails. And pretend to blog. Am not too into watching videos online. RM5 will get me a pretty decent DVD.

But think of the speed. You could respond to emails faster. And maybe update your blog regularly.

Huh? Since you're kinda too into this broadband packages, can I make an inquiry regarding me connectivity?

Sure.

See, I'm having a problem with them blings. Some days were good. Most were bleeding am-gonna-hack-and-slash-some-tm-personnel kinda days. Me ADSL that is. Any advice?

Your connections, your telephones?

Checked. They're cool with it.

Your wiring?

Checked.

You can call 100. And press 2.

Did that. But it seems not too many agents willing to listen to me problem.

Press 1 then.

Fuck you.

high speed...eh?

Selamat datang ke TM.
Untuk Bahasa Malaysia, tekan 1.
For English, press 2.

For telephony and data services, press 1.
For internet services, press 2.

We're sorry, all our agents are busy. We got our lives to lead and we don't have time for you. Who the fuck do you think you are calling us at this ungodly hour, you moron. Even though we operate 24-7. Try changing to another provider if you dare.

Toot. Toot. Toot.

Yups. Malaysian service. Exaggerated the last bit but don't you think them sentences passed through their minds. If you managed to get through to them that is. Tried getting them since Thursday. Felt like smashing the modem with them dumbbells. They have to replace it of course. Part of the deal. And as if the friggin' modem sensed it's days are numbered, that mothafuckin' ADSL light finally decided to stop them blings.

And there are 537 unread mails. How do you reply stale mails? How do you even begin to get into stale discussions? High speed me arse.

Might as well spend me time at the Dewan Bahasa shop. They got a sale going on. Mebbe I could get me an Usman Awang classic or two. On the cheap. And doesn't bling.

a new dawn...eh?

Ahh...a new Prime Minister. Welcome the new and goodbye to the old. And old is very subjective. Thank you for them good deeds. For them bad that should not have been done and them good that should have been done, history will judge.

And we'll all be judged. Was born when the first PM was still the PM. Remember the radio got nothing on but rendition of them verses from the Quran when the second met his Maker. Don't know much about the third. Or what he did for the country. Nor his son, except for changing education policies maybe. The forth came to office as I left me state for another, to pursue puberty. And oh boy, he did stayed some, that doctor.

Maybe the fifth came to office in the wrong era. He could be a swank PM in them swinging sixties. The country was poor, where there were little chance of money politics, where illiteracy and family togetherness was fairly common, where awareness anything except for them psychedelic drugs were unheard of and where his love for them arts would make him swing some. And most important of all, there wouldn't be that monkey on his back. In the realm of the internet and information superhighways, and with advisers so out of touch with reality, and stupid media like TV3, he's just asking for trouble. Despite all his promises, despite all them things he wanted to do all those, which seems like many thousands moons ago, when he came into office on a silver platter. It's too late now.

Lessons are meant to be learnt but life and of course politics is one motherfucking son of a bitching whore. Maybe The Most Powerful is just stating the obvious, and maybe laughing at our faces even. We can plan all we like, we can lobby for eternity, we can bargain for votes, we can set up a new party, we can try to change our race, or sexual preferences if possible and we can bitch till kingdom come but if He Says we're doomed to be jerks, we'll be just that. A nation of jerks.

Hopefully the new Prime Minister can prove them doomsayers wrong. For him and for the memory of his father. And for us all.