Tarings, my only fear in this life is am I ready to face Allah swt when He calls me? Have my years as a Muslim gather enough amal to compensate for my dosa in those same years? Have I done enough in my obedience to His instructions, have my ego and self-righteousness been humbled by my submission to His will?How will the scales be like? What about you?
Err...err...
I used to think of meself as a moderate. Believe the Six. Fulfill the 5 Commandments. Read the Quran, trying to understand them translations. Sometimes. Do as much good. Avoid as many sins as possible. I know that's not enough. Not by a long shot.
The more I read, the more it seems that what I've been doing thus far is way, way down the scales. Nowhere near even the threshold. That is if they are worthy to be measured in the first place. What if all that had been done were just a waste of time? Not only were they worthless deeds but considered sinful. And intentions. Were me intentions solely as a submission to Him? Or like Aliya put it, to glorify me own ego and self-righteousness?
I don't know, Aliya dear. But I definitely am not ready to meet me Maker. Not with me current scorecard. All them deeds may come to naught. And them sins that I've done, echo in the background. Then there are them obligations to me parents, to me wife, to me daughters, to fellow humans. Have I fulfilled them appropriately? Will they redha if Allah were to call me tonight? Or will they dump all the blame on me?
Am gonna have one of them sleepless nights...
1 comment:
hurm..
i believe, as long as we try our best to obey all the islamic rules, Allah would be merciful and shower us with His grace.
i've done so many things in my almost 28 years living on earth, sumtimes am so scared and worried Allah wud not accept me, but then, He is Most Merciful, so i would worry less and focus more on trying to be a good Muslim.
u should do the same too. btw, gonna link u up with me blog, wud like to have ur email or ym too. :D
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